Through Tinted Eyes

Change is happening all around us. Sadly, for me, I'm changing into someone that I don't like. Most people that have known me for a while would say that I'm a laid back kind of guy who listens well and is all around nice. But some of the more recent people I've met would say that at first I'm a pretty cool person but then as time progressed I became moody, introverted, that I complain a lot and that I can sometimes be unpleasant to talk to. That is the change that has occurred in me. I hate to admit it, but it's true. I've experienced quite a few things over the last three years or so that have molded me this way. Up until this year, I was going through a really rough period. So many things were wearing me down and chipping away at my hope and happiness. I thought I came out of it a better person, but it looks like I was just fooling myself. I find myself so much more frustrated than I used to. I become upset with people a lot more easily. I still say that it takes a lot to annoy and that used to be true but its no longer that way. I used to be pretty good at seeing the glass as half full and finding the light in the dark. But that's very hard for me to do. All I see now is the constant darkness of people and the destruction that they are bringing to their lives and the lives of those around them. It really angers me. I find myself more angry than happy these days. I'm angry at how selfish we are. I'm angry at the lack of respect we have for each other. I'm angry that we let our pride get in the way. I'm angry at the growing apathy. I'm just angry. I truly feel like giving up somedays. I don't see ourselves coming together to fix this mess that we've created. There's still people out there that give me hope. The few individuals that go out of there way to lend a helping hand. The one that's try to inspire us to take action. The ones that lead by good examples. But it seems like those people are becoming harder to find. Of course looking at the world through anger tinted glasses doesn't help. I find it so hard to care because caring is so painful when so many don't. But I still haven't thrown in the towel. There's still a part of me that has hope. I just pray that part can breakthrough the piling anger and frustration before I walk away for good.

Oh and if you somehow end up here, happy birthday.